Motivational speaker and self-help guru Tony Robbins publicly claimed the #MeToo movement is all about victimhood and women are using it to “get significance.” If that wasn’t enough, he then followed up his statement by saying in the era of #MeToo, attractive women may be penalized for their good looks.
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The controversial remarks were shared in front of thousands of attendees of Robbin’s giant “Unleash the Power Within” event in San Jose, California. A woman in the audience named Nanine McCool — who identified herself as a sexual abuse survivor — challenged the life coach’s claims by saying, “So, I think you misunderstood the MeToo movement” and accused Robbins — as a leader and an influential man — for doing a disservice to the whole campaign by making such disparaging claims. But instead of backing down, Robbins doubled down by sharing an anecdote of an unnamed “famous” acquaintance who had passed on hiring an attractive woman: “I was with someone the other day. Very famous man, very powerful man. He’s saying how stressed he is because he interviewed three people that day. One was a woman, two were men. The woman was better qualified, but she was very attractive, and he knew, ‘I can’t have her around because it’s too big a risk.’ And he hired somebody else. I’ve had a dozen men tell me this.”

Of course, it didn’t take long for the 11-minute exchange posted on the YouTube Channel to go viral. The video included tense moments in which Robbins got in McCool’s face and towered over her. The Atlantic vividly described the scene as “the hulking man with the hulking grin, physically pushing the small woman who dared to question him.” Robbins issued a public apology but many critics — including #MeToo founder Tarana Burke — were quick to note that the apology was only offered to protect his reputation. Burke condemned the video as “gross” and “deplorable.”
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And, so — as the video is still being shared and retweeted by many in vexation and anger — we need to address how the #MeToo movement can process Robbins’ criticism in a healthy manner that will be constructive to the campaign itself. Trust me, I too want to simply vilify Robbins on the Internet for his insensitive choice of words and harrowing demonstration — but perhaps there is a chance he does not know how to be part of the solution. There’s also a chance the #MeToo movement is missing out on a critical dialogue Robbins is suggesting.
Unfortunately, there is some truth to Robbins’ controversial remarks. According to research, it’s unlikely that Robbins’ dozen friends are the only men practicing this type of gender discrimination. In March, the Harvard Business Reviewreported that many men in finance have begun avoiding, hiring, and managing women. In order to avoid #MeToo going down in history as the “Battle of the Sexes” campaign, the conversations in addressing the emerging realities post #MeToo need be shared on the public stage.
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Yes, it is both illegal and unethical to hire less qualified men over a highly qualified woman, attractive or not. And it is not OK for a public figure of Robbins’ stature to minimize a movement and fueling the same victim-blaming rhetoric. When Robbins stressed that he’s not mocking the #MeToo movement but he’s mocking “victimhood” — he should be fully aware as the nation’s most well-known life coach that 90% of adult rape victims are female. So, by blaming victims he is in a sense blaming women. The movement needs to see more men in influential positions standing as a proud ally.

But what’s worse, simply dismissing a whole argument because it is an opinion with which we disagree with. In an Op-Ed piece for CNN, author Peggy Drexler offered a solution to those taking part in the #Metoo narrative: “It’s OK to be skeptical of a movement. A good movement will stand up to those criticisms and be stronger for it.” Robbins is certainly not the first public figure to criticize the movement, nor will he be the last. Plus, silencing criticism wouldn’t lead to sustained, lasting change in implementing new gender norms, it’ll only cause even bigger problems.

It’s important to focus on the how when it comes to the conversation of including men in the dialogue for #MeToo. The truth is, in order for substantial social change to take root both parties need to use their voices to influence and to become part of the solution.
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A crucial and under-reported reality of the #MeToo viral episode in October is the fact that it wasn’t just women who shared experiences of sexual harassment – men also took to social media to share their own experiences of assault. Director and actor Alex Winter posted the hashtag writing: “While my story isn’t public, those that need to know are aware. But speaking up wasn’t easy so please listen, acknowledge & accept.” Actor Terry Crews also shared his story of being groped by a “high-level Hollywood executive” at an industry function in 2016. While Crews said he reached out to colleagues he decided not to “take it further” out of fear of being “ostracized.” And they’re not alone, a new landmark study looking at sexual harassment and assault in the U.S. revealed 81% of women and a stunning 43% of men reported experiencing sexual misconduct in their lifetime. The revelation is crucial because historically people perceive sexual harassment and domestic violence as women’s issues, but perhaps it is necessary for a change in the framing of the #MeToo movement to illuminate that it is indeed a men’s issue as well.

Author and educator Jackson Katz offered a suggestion in the change of the framing: “Instead of focusing on men as perps and women as victims – or women as perpetrators and men as victims, or any combination – it focuses on everybody in a given peer culture as what we call a bystander, which is a friend, a teammate, classmate, a colleague, a co-worker.” While, I don’t agree with his statement of taking away the gender title in addressing #MeToo – since patriarchy and the power structures that mandate misogyny is a central force in the narratives of #MeToo – I do agree that there is a role to play in being an active bystander and responding to sexual violence.

Joyful Heart Foundation and A CALL TO MEN, a violence prevention organization, partnered to launched the #IWILLSPEAKUP campaign – a movement specifically asking men to support survivors of sexual assault, abuse, and harassment by speaking up. According to A CALL TO MEN cofounder Ted Bunch, “Only men can end men’s violence against women.” Bunch said until men are aware and understand that “they are the solution” they can then “turn that awareness into action and that action into lasting change as we create the next generation of manhood.”
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Leading Hollywood men Andre Braugher, Tate Donovan, and Anthony Edwards are at the forefront of the pledge starring in a PSA titled “I’ll say something next time.” Though there’s no denying how imperative it is for women to lead and spearhead the conversation of #MeToo, it’s crucial that the movement incorporates male activists in their network because both parties are needed in establishing lasting social change. Male colleagues need to know the importance of the #MeToo movement so that they can shoulder some of the work of stopping harassment and do their part to de-normalize a culture of sexual harassment at work.

Since #MeToo and sexual harassment became a national conversation last fall, there’s no denying what’s been noticeably missing from the cultural reckoning are the voices of men. For instance, at the 75th Golden Globe Awards in January as several actresses – including Meryl Streep and Natalie Portman – walked the red carpet with activists and donned “Times Up” pins to address the issue of sexual violence in their acceptance speeches, male actors did not play a role in the conversation. In an interview on CBS author Jackson Katz who gave a TED Talk titled “Violence against women – it’s a men’s issue” explained why he thinks men are reluctant to speak out on the topic: “I think a lot of men don’t know what to say. I think a lot of men haven’t ever heard other men say this, so they haven’t seen it modeled. I think a lot of men are afraid of stepping in it.” Historically, yes domestic violence and sexual harassment has long been perceived as solely a women’s issue, but Katz emphasized that in order for real change to take effect men need to part of the conversation.

But the question remains how when the #Metoo movement isn’t framed to be inclusive to men. Many notable male stars in Hollywood including Liam Neeson and Michael Haneke have criticized the #MeToo movement as being a “bit of a witch hunt,” expressing concern for their peers who have been chastised for what they feel are comparatively minor offenses. After a controversial article accusing comedian Aziz Ansari of sexual misconduct was posted on the Internet, many raised fear that the movement has gone too far. In an article for The Atlantic, Caitlin Flanagan dismissed the allegations against Ansari: “Apparently there is a whole country full of young women who don’t know how to call a cab, and who have spent a lot of time picking out pretty outfits for dates they hoped would be nights to remember. They’re angry and temporarily powerful.” These remarks frame men and women as being locked in a Battle of the Sexes, mistakenly assuming that if women are suddenly empowered, men suffer.
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It’s important to note that this mindset is not just felt in Hollywood, the #MeToo movement seems to be causing a negative backlash at work. A new survey reveals that the number of men uncomfortable being alone with a woman at work has doubled since the heightened awareness around the issue. Male managers are also three times more likely now to say they are uncomfortable mentoring women. Sheryl Sandberg, the founder of LeanIn.Org – a nonprofit that conducted the survey – says the results are alarming because when mentoring becomes selective, women miss out on opportunities to advance their careers.

In order for the #MeToo movement to successfully address the contours of systemic sexism and the traditional legal justice system that has repeatedly failed them, the conversation for due process is a call that solely belongs to the victims. Not the office of Human Resources, not the men in power, and frankly not the President of the United States.

It’s clear a new paradigm is on the horizon in the wake of the #MeToo era. Victims are reclaiming their narrative, calling out on the patriarchy and the misogyny that has plagued our culture for too long. Through the use of the online medium, victims have managed to disrupt the cultural hegemony by taking control of the often male-dominated communication spheres by removing their veil of silence. According to Hester Baer’s Redoing feminism: digital activism, body politics and neoliberalism,the narratives behind the feminist activist hashtags offer a personal local context of systemic sexism: “These actions reveal the pervasive, structural nature of sexual violence, linking this specific, local stories of individual women to larger narratives of inequality.” It is through the social media platform that women have managed to bring private, personal accounts into public spaces and is demanding tangible legislative and social change – all the while keeping their hands on the wheels of the narrative. And it is excruciatingly crucial that they do not lose that control.

The problem with the call for “due process” is that it seems to be coming from the mouths of skeptics of the #MeToo campaign. It’s almost become synonymous to calling foul of the women who now carry some weight to smear and ruin a man’s reputation by going public with claims of abuse. Roy Moore is the ultimate example of the use of “due process.” And President Trump is facing his own set of sexual assault allegations. More than a dozen women have accused the President for sexually abusing them or behaving inappropriately. So, one cannot ignore the fact that perhaps this call for “due process” may be more personal than it is for just legal standards. Lenora Lapidus and Sandra Park’s piece on The Atlantic also raises the argument that it is the unfair processes of the traditional legal justice system that has kept too many women silent for so long: “In the employment context, women bringing sexual harassment claims face tough battles to satisfy difficult legal standards and overcome juror skepticism.” Historically, women have been disbelieved, ignored, and even punished. Even with the enactment of rape shield laws, victims have been forced to answer to questions pertaining to their sexual history, which were then used to discredit their claims. It is within this framework of understanding rape culture and the social norms that allow for sexual assault to occur, that the conversation of due process needs to take place.

The credibility of survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault is still at stake even in the current, more receptive #MeToo moment. Lapidus and Park argue that the allegations against men in power seem to depend on the corroboration by multiple victims or undeniable evidence. According to the article, the words of a victim cannot stand on its own unless there are a number of women coming forward to reach a breaking point: “Still today, the scale seems too often tipped in favor of ‘he said’ until there are multiple ‘she saids.’” I agree with this argument that even in this MeToo era, the words coming from a man in power seem to hold more weight than a testimony from a single victim. But I also believe we are at a pivotal moment where we are seeing the beginning of a culture of accountability. Though it may take a collective rather than a single voice to establish credibility, we are seeing a reaction – and that is a productive start.
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All in all, while it is true this lack of providing opportunity for a person accused of wrongdoing doesn’t seem to offer any semblance of fairness, it is fair to say that the call for ‘due process’ should not be coming from the mouths of men in power. The movement would then be re-centering the narrative to address the concern of men not the needs of the long-silenced victims. The last thing the movement needs is men in power attempting to take back that control of the narrative.

 While the President’s remarks triggered a great deal of controversy, the truth is questions are being raised about what “due process” those accused of sexual assault and misconduct are entitled to. There’s no doubt the #MeToo movement has not only given a voice but some power to once silenced and defenseless victims. The narratives behind the movement doesn’t just reveal the criminal behaviors of sexual misconduct, but it’s also shedding light to the traditional legal justice system that has repeatedly failed victims. The cries that were long ignored in the office of corporations are now being acknowledged by the court of public opinion on social media. After more than 100 men in high-profile positions have fallen from grace, and as more figures face consequences – one needs to ask, should we address the fact that there may be some error in this rush to judgment and accepting all accusations at face value?
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First, we need to acknowledge that those who are calling for “due process” in the wake of the #MeToo era are misusing the term. It is a legal principle, a protection against arbitrary government action invoked only when the government acts. Due Process, as enshrined on the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution states “No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.” But corporations are not courts of law. Hollywood, Neflix, the “Today” show, and Fox News are not government entities. Due process does not apply to private employers or the press. And it most certainly doesn’t apply to the court of public opinion.

But if we’re speaking colloquially –  yes, it’s true that an accusation is not itself proof. Many critics – even within the feminist movement – say the rapidity and fury of the #MeToo movement in upending the careers of men need to be addressed in order to achieve long-lasting social justice. In an Opinion piece to the Chicago Tribune, 77-year old Dorie Chaille Tiseth, who has been a member of the National Women and the American Association of University Women championing for women’s rights for 50 years, compared the #MeToo movement to the Salem witch hunt. She said, “For the sake of equality for women, we must demand that those accused can face their accusers or the fight for equality for women will become impotent.” In a separate article, Jeanine Tobine – a public defender and a self-proclaimed feminist in her 70s – agreed with Tiseth’s stand and stressed the need for a better way to redress sexual misconduct than throwing the concept of due process out the window: “As a retired public defender, I have seen more than my share of shaded motivations on both sides of sexual issues. I remember more than a few juries where criminal accusations by “girlfriends” against males were heard and defendants ultimately exonerated. Other juries have found defendants guilty.” She argues that “due process” is for the innocent and guilty alike – every accused individual deserves a trial before coming to a verdict of guilt or innocence.

​However, I’m not entirely sure what “due process” would look like in our current circus atmosphere of media coverage. Because unlike the court room, non-legal charges as well as cases that are beyond the statute of limitations can get considerable time in the limelight. The media and the press isn’t a medium that can be censored due to a lack of facts or evidence. At the same time, some critics say that there should be more ethics practiced amongst journalists. Alexandra Lahav, a law professor at the University of Connecticut argues, “As I understand it, reputable journalists do attempt to hear the other side. They seek confirmation of their stories and solicit a response from the person accused.” But it’s important to note that it’s not just journalists that are reporting on the #MeToo movement. The Internet has created a media platform for any users to sound off and share their stories with a use of a #hashtag. However, this new wave on the Internet is different than previous waves because they have a medium to address criticism as it’s being addressed to them, offering an opportunity to expand feminist debates. Perhaps it’s time for feminists – with its generational and ideological differences – to use the digital space to start the conversation of “due process.” Because after all, it is a call that only belongs to them.

​“I was an optimistic, driven, hardworking and ambitious, young woman, determined to pursue a career in acting… I found myself relentlessly harassed… My life and career was in the hands of people intent on destruction, people who judged and vilified me in ways they never would have done if I was a man… I fought back, I got privacy laws changed.” –  Sienna Miller, Actress & Activist

It's the final day at the 62nd UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), the United Nations’ largest gathering on gender equality and women’s rights, the energy and anticipation was almost palpable. Journalists and activists convened at the UN headquarters to snatch a seat at a side-event discussing women in the media.

Since the tidal wave of #MeToo posts sprung up last fall in the wake of Harvey Weinstein’s sexual perpetrations against dozens of women, activists across the nation and around the world have attempted to use the rapid momentum in the media to create lasting cultural change. The digital media has become a platform to speak out, retort, and start a dialogue to critically reflect on statements that were once considered harmless or largely ignored. More than 100 high-powered men across industries now stand accused of sexual harassment and misconduct. Many have fallen from grace, and others have been forced to resign. Perhaps for the first time in history, we’re seeing accountability played out in real time. There’s no denying that this moment is a transformative movement in social change. But we have now come to a vexing question: what now?

Addressing a largely female crowd, actress and activist Sienna Miller provided opening remarks at the event, which was organized by UN Women, The Guardian, and the Permanent Mission of Norway to the UN. Miller shared her own story of living her life in the spotlight, the paparazzi-frenzy that seems to be less forgiving towards women, and moments when she felt professionally undervalued and undermined because of her gender. The actress turned down a role in a Broadway production after learning that she was offered less than half of what her male co-star was being paid. She said, “It turned out to be a pivotal moment in my life. Not because I did it. But because I didn’t.” Miller’s personal account of gender discrimination was a stark reminder of the glaring blind spot of the #MeToo movement and its lack of inclusivity. Because the reality is this: not all women have the luxury of saying no to a paycheck. Risking your livelihood as a member of the upper class in affluent Los Angeles is not the same as risking your livelihood working a blue-collar job in middle-town America.

At the same time, you cannot dismiss the pivotal role Hollywood power players have in the discourse of gender discrimination. After all, it is the famous faces behind the narratives that sparked the #MeToo conversation on the world stage in the first place. The panel discussion included Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, the executive director of UN Women, who spoke on the solidarity that could be achieved between women in Hollywood and women in rural parts of the world. She emphasized that there is an opportunity for women in the public eye to “speak for other women who are outside and invisible.”

There is an initiative in Hollywood that is attempting to connect the voices between A-list movie stars and women working blue-collar jobs. The Time’s Up organization – spearheaded by actress Reese Witherspoon – is striving to stamp out patriarchy for all women, regardless of class. To date, the organization has raised more than $20 million dollars to provide legal defense funds for low-income women who have experienced sexual harassment and abuse. Perhaps we’ll soon see a Hollywood-stamped initiative that can cross borders to aid women in the Global South with little power and fewer resources. Mlambo-Ngcuka says seeing powerful men being held accountable on the public stage is not only sending a message to rural parts of the globe, but to younger generations: “Accountability says to young men that this is not normal, this is not right.”

It’s safe to say that the reckoning has begun. In December 2017, a group of House and Senate lawmakers introduced bipartisan legislation to respond to sexual harassment in Congress. The bill, named the Member and Employee Training and Oversight On (ME TOO) Congress Act, attempts to overhaul the system for filing and settling harassment claims made by congressional employees. The power of the #hashtag is bringing real political change to the U.S.
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​The speakers at the CSW panel discussion attempted to offer concrete solutions in the aftermath of #MeToo, in order to successfully initiate positive change and leave no individuals – regardless of race and class – behind. Pamella Sittoni, the managing editor of EastAfrican, a weekly newspaper published in Kenya, stressed the need for #MeToo to be seen as a genderless movement. She said #MeToo is not a women’s movement but a “humanity movement” about respecting dignity. She then emphasized the need for more men in leadership positions to be at the forefront in the discussions of gender equality: “Men shouldn’t feel that this is something targeting them. It’s a movement about a good world for all of us.”

In addition, the revelations learned through the watershed movement need to be spelled out on paper. Mlambo-Ngcuka, the executive director of UN Women, argued that workplaces must review anti-harassment policies to ensure that gender-based discrimination is included. Changes must be made alongside the ongoing conversations facilitated by the #MeToo movement: “Sustain it, institutionalize it and make sure that it is reflected in the policies at the workplace.” She also called on journalists in the room to stay with the story of #MeToo and gender discrimination and not to stop writing until gender equality is reached.

While the panel discussion and the energy has progressed exponentially from just last year, I found the conversation to be overly polite and frustratingly surface-level. More than 8,000 people from 1,121 civil society organizations have registered for the CSW gathering this year – making it the largest number of attendees to date. Clearly, there is a widespread consciousness of feminist ideas in the public space across the globe. If we want structural change and solidarity to be achieved amongst feminists in all parts of the world, harder questions need to be addressed. What are the struggles of the women who are less visible and have less resources? How does their narrative connect to the women in Hollywood? How can the movement change to be more inviting towards men? What other angles can journalists take to effectively cover the #MeToo movement instead of simply being a “gotcha” game?

Perhaps it isn’t fair to expect a two-hour panel discussion to successfully tackle all the muddled areas that have emerged with the #MeToo movement. But it’s clear that a corner has been turned, and the closing remarks by Norway’s Minister for Foreign Affairs Ine Marie Eriksen Soreide couldn’t have been more fitting: “There is no going back after this."